Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram
A strange concoction of thoughts
Fight or Flight: Indigo 6E227 Delhi-Vadodara. 5.35 am.
I was sick and coughing. On top of that, I hung out with people from Half Walks for an entire day (11.30 am to 9.50 pm). After that, I went out for a late-night walk with someone. By the time I slept, it was midnight. I thought I’d wake up and leave for the airport at 1 am. I could peacefully doze off after reaching the gate.
But my body decided to ignore the alarm. I don’t even remember the alarm ringing. I accidentally woke up around 3:40 a.m. My flight was at 5:35 a.m. which meant that the gates would close at 5:10. I had neither bathed nor packed.
A rough calculation made me realise I needed 45 minutes to reach the airport and 30 minutes to cross security and queues. That left me just 15 minutes of buffer time. I am comfortable only with an hour or more of flight buffer time. It should be even more if my employer is paying for it.
My body went into fight or “flight” mode. The pun was not intended, and it was fucking scary. I did not pack clothes or toiletries. I just grabbed my laptop bag. I had forgotten the wallet but recalled it right after locking the door.
I barely made it to the gate at 4.40. Thirty minutes ahead of gate closure. Stress hormones in my body were asked to calm the fuck down. But they couldn’t.
For some reason, three words rang in my mind as the airport bus started moving towards my flight.
Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram.
I could not understand why my tired, relieved, stressed-out mind was playing Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram. I gave it some thought during the day.
Satyam
I was relieved I had avoided missing my flight to a work trip by a small margin. I had come to the gate 30 minutes in advance, but I often like an hour buffer due to the variables involved in making it to an early morning flight after crossing several loops.
How it can go wrong:
( a ) the Uber cab driver can reject me,
( b ) the car may break down
( c ) I might get stuck in the security queue.
( d )The entrance gate might be clogged.
( e ) I might fall somewhere while walking.
( f ) The cab's tyre could get punctured.
Anything could go wrong. Hence, I love a bare minimum buffer of one hour for flights. Even that stresses me out. Two is safe. It keeps my nervous system intact.
When I saw the time 3.40, I doubted I would ever make it. But deep inside my belly, I know I will always make it. I will always beat the scenario and my worst fears despite the circumstances. I don’t doubt this. For me, it is a fact. It is as good as truth.
My conscience (though not relevant in this story) and grit are as good as fundamental truths, and I always trust myself despite all the curveballs thrown at me. I need to believe more firmly in this truth.
The cough was killing me. My throat was uneasy as fuck. I tried to suppress it and control it. But it was way too stubborn, just like love or truth rebelling against the circumstances to show up in front of the world.
I need to let out the cough, the love and the truth without trying to suppress them. All of them should be treated on equal footing.
Shivam
Which force made me sleep till 3.40 am?
Which force made me wake up without an alarm?
Which force made me ignore packing completely and run with only essentials?
It all happened so instantly. My instincts must know something that my conscious mind doesn’t. Many times, they take over the system without asking my rational mind. These instincts are working in my best interests.
Sometimes, I feel that these instincts are my weaknesses.
But they aren’t.
They know better.
They have the power to make great choices.
I believe this instinct is a manifestation of god or Shiva himself.
Sundaram
I tried sleeping on the flight for some time. But the constant cough kept waking me up. I had a bad runny nose. My handkerchief was in my bag (which I was too lazy to access). I tore some pages from my notebook and used tissues to manage the situation.
My inability to sleep allowed me to view the sky at sunrise.
It was beautiful, but I had to see it through dirty windows. The picture I clicked did not come out well, but I knew it was beautiful. The sky was gorgeous, irrespective of what my iPhone 14 Pro had captured. Even the best cameras fail when their lenses process the image via a dirty intermediary object (in this case, the window).
Beauty always manages to fill my heart with joy. It will always show up one day in a way the world can appreciate.
I may be unable to communicate the beauty of the clouds and the orange sky.
I don’t have proof.
But it exists.
And its existence is good enough.
The New Motto
Until this morning, my motto was Carpe Diem, which means “seize the day.”
The movie ‘Dead Poets Society’ popularised this. Carpe Diem just pushed me into a treadmill of busy work. It made me emphasise achievement and winning more than anything else. But that changes from this morning onwards.
Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram will now lead me to self-trust, the truth, divinity and beauty. A base built on this motto is more sustainable.
These are the three words that will drive me in future.
Maybe they have always driven me. But I only realised it this morning.
Update: I asked AI Chatbot Grok to give me the exact meaning of Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram. Here’s the response:
The phrase "Satyam Shivam Sundaram" is a Sanskrit phrase that means "Truth, Consciousness, and Beauty." It is a mantra that represents the fundamental principles of the Hindu philosophy, and it is often used to describe the nature of the divine.
In this context, "Satyam" refers to the ultimate truth or reality, which is considered to be eternal and unchanging. "Shivam" refers to the divine consciousness or the supreme self, which is the essence of all beings. "Sundaram" refers to the beauty or the aesthetic quality of the divine, which is expressed through the creation of the universe.
The phrase "Satyam Shivam Sundaram" is often associated with the Hindu deity Shiva, who is considered to be the embodiment of these three principles. It is also used to describe the ideal qualities of a person or a work of art, emphasizing the importance of truth, consciousness, and beauty in human life.