At some point, everyone would have blamed others for their plight. Even the most well-read and empathetic people can sometimes do this. Blaming others can also be a good thing for one’s mental health because nobody can blame themselves for everything that isn’t right.
Sometimes it could be right or wrong. Sometimes it is an emotional reaction. On other occasions, it is a purely planned evil act. There can also be times when it is the only sane thing one can do. At times, one can blame the situation or god. These are acts of helplessness.
I chose to write about this today to define my attitude towards “blaming”.
When a product fails or crashes unexpectedly, should I blame the developer, the QA guy? Or myself? Or should the team take the blame collectively?
This affects me on a personal level as well. It could be money, possessions, dressing sense, relationships or anything visible on a person’s Instagram account. I am not at par, and it doesn’t seem like I will catch up in the next two years. Was it a lack of self-awareness or a scarcity of guidance? Didn’t I put myself in the right crowd? Or was I too idealistic (or dumb)?
The metaphorical dots may not connect. Or they might. I insisted on finding my path through exploration, and the price was paid through time and learning experiences.
There was this time during COVID lockdowns when I lashed out at my mom for not saving money for my studies abroad. In my defence, she had been throwing snarky remarks at me. I was implying that I had not decided to opt for it since we didn’t have the money. She replied that she would have found a way if I had made up my mind.
And she was right. In reality, I wasn’t sure what to do even if I moved abroad. Instead of blaming her, I could have secured higher grades in college and won scholarships. Overall, I behaved in a very petty manner that day. I had also decided to leave home for good (like every Indian kid who wants to turn into a rebel).
But that wasn’t a solution. It was just a juvenile outburst. I am kinder these days and realise every privilege I had was hard won. And I deeply respect my mother for ensuring that I got those privileges. Things could have been far worse if not for her determination. In a way, this post is also an apology letter to her.
These days, I am quite confident that I am happy deep inside. I will never blame anyone or the circumstances for my situation. Winners think three steps ahead and plan. I should have learnt all vital lessons by now. Instead of finding a scapegoat, I shall always find the path. Even during the darkest hours, I’ll remember how lucky I am, and I shall be grateful to everyone who has helped me along the way.
Gratefulness is the only vaccine to the blame-game pandemic.
Hahaha. Blame is the only game in the corporate world brother. It’s unfortunate, sad, but it’s the way it is. The ones at the top blame the ones below for failures and get them fired while in the same breath take credit for their hard work.
Blame is a way of life. It works. For many. Not for me thankfully.
Gratefulness is for the happy soul. Not for the ambitious one.
You can’t ride a bike at 160 and fall and blame the potholes. You ride a bike at 160kmph inspite of the potholes !
Gratefulness is the only vaccine to the blame-game pandemic.
Well....My neighbour built a four storeyed house( with some violation ) ..only now we realise that the structure has come in the way of heating our roof...which kept us warm in winter.
we are yet to see how our plants and trees respond to diminished heat and light they receive now!!
I blame him for the misery he put us in....yes, I am priveleged to be warm with more layers ...!! but that doesn't stop me from blaming him. I don't know why I should be grateful to him!!