Monkey Branching

A term that people ought to know

What is Monkey Branching?

I heard this for the first time somewhere in an Instagram Reel. I got quite curious about this term.

I asked the chatbot Grok to give me a funny explanation. I am reposting it here for the general public.

Monkey branching, my dear human, is when someone decides to swing from one relationship tree to another without first letting go of the current branch. It's like watching a circus act where the performer is trying to juggle multiple partners at once, except in this case, the performer is your partner, and the juggling act is their love life.

Picture this: your significant other is holding onto you with one hand while reaching out to grab the next shiny new partner with the other. They're like a monkey in the wild, swinging from tree to tree, always on the lookout for the next best thing. Except, instead of bananas, they're after a new relationship.

The funny part is, they're not quite sure if the new branch will hold their weight, so they keep a firm grip on the old one, just in case. It's like they're playing a game of relationship roulette, hoping the next spin will land on a better option.

But here's the thing, my friend, monkey branching rarely works out in the long run. Eventually, the person has to let go of one branch to fully grab the other, and that's when things get messy. Trust me, you don't want to be the branch that gets dropped in the process.

So, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who's exhibiting monkey branching behavior, it might be time to call them out on their circus act and find someone who's willing to focus on one branch at a time. After all, who wants to be the monkey in the middle?

Monkey Branching in Relationships

The term, though coined in the context of relationships can be applied anywhere. But primarily, monkey-branching is a relationship-related terminology. It’s quite funny and repulsive at first.

You can sorta sense that your partner is exploring options when they start devaluing you or withdraw attention/affection. It’s not a straight line but often a curve.

When people get these signals, they don’t take substantial measures. If you are competitive and optimistic, you will start imagining yourself winning the race. You will probably put in more effort and compromise a lot.

But in true terms, you will never win. The only way to retain your sanity is to leave the circus and meet someone who treats you with full respect.

That makes relationships a dangerous field to enter. The calamity is not monetary but emotional. The impact of this could extend to months in the best case and years in the worst case. However, one ought to remind themselves that this is probably the norm.

Monkey Branching and Careers

I must say that I am a monkey brancher in terms of careers. I started in the manufacturing sector. I worked at a German Truck manufacturer for 2.5 years. It was a pretty good job, but it had slow career growth.

Then I tried my hand at some government exam (no points for guessing UPSC). It seemed exciting given my interest in social sciences and will-to-power instincts. However, I feel I did not go all in during my attempts.

I had a kink of being a journalist. So I interned for almost 9 months at two different publications. Turns out I ended up on the wrong side of history as I contributed to right-wing ideology during those months.

Then I worked at an ed-tech startup which is worth almost nothing today. Again it was a sorta la-la-land which was hyped up by media and some of my former college-mates.

Even I took some time to understand that the company was selling a product that didn’t have much value. And I monkey-branched from the company to a better one.

Now I work as a product manager at a study-abroad startup. It seems like a decent bet worth holding on to. I am having a lot of fun and getting decent money. But, I don’t see myself sticking on if the juice is not worth the squeeze.

Morality?

If monkey branching is considered moral or normal in a job scenario, then should we not consider it to be the same in personal life as well? I feel that the answer would be sorta nuanced.

In your career, you are playing with an entity without a face i.e. HR, management, market, or a role. These entities don’t have emotions as such and they are driven purely by economics. The role left by you can be easily filled by another person and your colleagues/boss/employer won’t be devastated by your departure.

But in relationships, you’re dealing with a human who has invested his/her time, emotions and efforts. There are so many intangible things that are not available for purchase.

If it is an irredeemable relationship, maybe it can be considered moral. It should be a last resort, I guess. But if monkey branching is a default course of action, then it is not only immoral but also unsustainable.

Age and looks deteriorate over time and the opportunity costs (of not having a stable healthy relationship) keep rising. There won’t be good chances of leaving a healthy imprint on a human and negative Karma will pile up. The price you pay in Karma denominations will be quite high.