This is a quick rant without much structure and research.
I was trying to figure out the role of chemistry in the whole universe of happiness discourse. Two key players in this game are dopamine and serotonin.
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Dopamine: Drives wanting, motivation, pursuit, and learning from rewards.
Serotonin: Regulates mood stability, emotional security, and well-being.
Source : ChatGPT
Doubling Down on Dopamine
In my own experience, I have been chasing dopamine in various healthy and unhealthy ways. It is high time I stick to a better and sustainable routine and discipline to manage these two chemicals.
Of course, I am aware of how these chemicals are impacting me and sometimes I spin off. I have been unable to sleep before 12 AM and wake up before 6 AM consistently for almost three months. In spite of this, I seem to be doing OK at work and have finished a full marathon as well.
Beyond the regular debate of which of these chemicals need to be allowed to take centre stage and dance, one must also look into the quality of these chemicals.
Apparently there’s something called “good dopamine” and “bad dopamine”. Unfortunately, I have been sourcing bad dopamine from dealers called nicotine, Netflix and Instagram.
A Slippery Slope
I have not worked out for two consecutive days and have binge watched a Netflix show. Simultaneously, I have also consumed a good amount of sugar and nicotine.
This can be blamed on other supporting actors called cortisol and oxytocin. There seems to be an abundance of the former and shortage of the former.
Workouts, running and reading have helped from falling of the ledge. But sometimes, it is hard to keep up. Even a minor slide away from these good dopamine vendors can push me into the embrace of bad dopamine dealers.
Dearth of Oxytocin
Blaming the universe for not providing me healthy sources of oxytocin can be a counterproductive exercise. But that problem has to be dealt with by a wide range of measures.
I have cycled through almost half a dozen failed talking stages and felt hope and connection a couple of times. It almost felt like I had found what I wanted before I checked out.
Documenting these feelings, thoughts and observations has massively improved my understanding of what I want and don’t want. Trusting this process is very important to keep the ship afloat.
Final Thoughts
Thinking of my own well-being in terms of simple chemical reactions has helped alleviate the anxiety of being on my own while simultaneously craving for success, good health and connection.
It is so important to not lose sanity, else the consequences are going to be very bad.
