Kindness / Cruelty
A note about two contrasting emotions I explored this weekend.
A Free Library = Kindness
I started volunteering at The Community Library Project (TCLP) since last week. I am expected to dedicate 4 hours per week to contribute to several activities at the Khirki Village branch of TCLP. This initiative is close to my heart as I love books and believe in access to books for all individuals who want to read.
The whole concept of this library seems utopian and idealistic. But it has been executed. The place makes my heart swell with joy. Why?
The library is completely free.
There are no late fees.
There are no penalties for losing a book. You can make up for it by working at the library for a day (repair day)
There is no discrimination of members based on gender, religion, social status or any other markers of differentiation in society.
Every child and individual is treated with kindness and respect in the space (something I’ve missed in my childhood).
A star is added to each kid’s name on the display board every time they finish reading ten books. When they finish 100 books, each kid is entitled to a gift (i.e. a copy of a book).
I got the opportunity to arrange returned books and later read a Hindi book to a kid. I sat at the circulation desk, where I saw the excitement and joy in the eyes of the kids as they borrowed and returned books. They were excited to know the number of books they had read so far (in anticipation of stars on the leaderboard).
For some reason, I was overwhelmed by emotions. I had tears in my eyes for no apparent reason. I realised the reason for this reaction only later during my therapy session. I had never seen genuine kindness and child-like innocence for a long time.
TCLP is where I saw the genuine kindness I deserved in my childhood. It is the genuine kindness that I have been missing in my relationships as an adult. This was a breakthrough moment in understanding my inner child’s needs. I still can’t put it into words. I am absorbing this feeling gradually.
The Silent Treatment
I read a book in a single sitting on Sunday (after a long time). It was about the sport I am currently obsessed with. Chess.
In the story, I came across an ordinary accountant who is punished with silent treatment + interrogation by Nazis. This form of torture drives him crazy. During his captivity, he accidentally gets his hands on a chess book describing the gameplay of grandmasters.
The person memorizes the games without having any access to a chess board. Eventually, he starts playing chess against himself. It sounds weird. But somehow, he divides his brain into white and black parts. During his captive days, he gets extremely good at the game. He starts playing chess in his sleep and turns insane.
I wondered if the silent treatment is as harsh as described in the book. To some extent, I could relate to the torture. So, I did some research.
Prompt: How can silent treatment breakdown the soul of an individual?
ChatGPT: The silent treatment can be incredibly damaging to an individual's emotional well-being and can indeed feel like it's breaking down their soul. Here's how:
Isolation: Being ignored or ostracized triggers feelings of isolation and abandonment. Human beings are social creatures, and when someone they care about stops communicating with them, it can lead to profound feelings of loneliness and worthlessness.
Emotional Manipulation: The silent treatment is often used as a form of control or manipulation. The person giving the silent treatment may be trying to punish or manipulate the other person into behaving a certain way or to assert power over them. This manipulation can lead to feelings of helplessness and inadequacy in the person receiving it.
Insecurity and Self-Doubt: Silence can be deafening, especially when it comes from someone whose opinion matters to us. When someone gives us the silent treatment, it can trigger feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. The person on the receiving end may start questioning themselves, wondering what they did wrong or why the other person is upset with them.
Communication Breakdown: The silent treatment prevents resolution or communication of issues. Without open communication, misunderstandings can fester and relationships can deteriorate. This lack of closure can be incredibly distressing and can leave the individual feeling unresolved and emotionally drained.
Long-term Effects: Over time, repeated instances of the silent treatment can erode self-esteem and lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. It can create a pattern of unhealthy communication within relationships and contribute to a cycle of emotional abuse.
In essence, the silent treatment can break down the soul of an individual by undermining their sense of self-worth, destabilizing their emotional state, and damaging their ability to trust and connect with others. It's a form of psychological abuse that can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental and emotional well-being.
If one can endure this kind of torture and still come out of the tunnel as a sane person, then I would consider it a superhuman feat. It’s like coming out of an inhumane warzone—a warzone where an individual becomes one’s worst enemy.