How to Avoid Prince Myshkin's Fate
Thoughts after reading the book 'The Idiot' by Dostoevsky
Warning: This post has spoilers of the novel ‘The Idiot’ by Dostoevsky
Can one love everyone, all human beings, all one’s neighbours? I have often asked myself that question. Of course not, and it would even be unnatural. In an abstract love of humanity it is nearly always only oneself whom one loves.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky in ‘The Idiot’
Initial Thoughts
What if you read a book and at the end of it, felt that you have been an idiot for your entire life. I am glad that I at least read it at 34 rather than at 50. I am not sure if I do sound like an idiot.
Of course, I have not been a saint either, but tried hard to be a good person, made adjustments, stepped aside and tried to do the humane thing, not realising how I might be hurting myself in the process.
Only recently, I have started thinking of things in terms of mutual benefit, rather than the egoistic or rather compassionate goals of fixing someone or rescuing the tortured souls out of pity.
I think I have finally, felt the need to put my needs above those of others. And I have also learnt the art of forgiving myself for my own perceived failures and ignorant actions. Finishing “The Idiot” by Dostoevsky is the final act of this transformation.
The Premise and Summary of Dostoevsky’s Idiot
Prince Myshkin is a member of a reputed family (which is why he has “Prince” attached to his name. His full name is Prince Lev Nikolayevich Myshkin.
Dostoevsky created this character just to demonstrate that a perfectly kind and naive person can’t survive in this world. In fact he will be destroyed, exploited and finished by the world.
He is a broke dude travelling back to Russia from Switzerland after getting treatment for Epilepsy. He is funded by a rich benefactor and family friend. The family friend, a certain Pavlischev dies and leaves behind a huge inheritance to him.
Myshkin meets a distant relative who is part of the Russian elite. Over the course of his interaction he comes across as a naive, yet adorable and kind person.
This is the main cause of his downfall. He lacks filters and boundaries. Very often he tries to become a self-appointed saviour for all sorts of people including manipulators and broken individuals.
Over a period of time Myshkin becomes a node of love triangle, quadrilateral or pentagon depending on how you see it. But his main love interests are Nastasya Fillipinova and Aglaya Yepanchina. Several side stories exist but the triangle involving Myshkin, Nastasya and Aglaya is the most important one.
Nastasya is passionately pursued by a rich landowner named Rogozhin. An upper middle class man by the name Ganya had initially volunteered to marry Nastasya but had his eyes on Aglaya as well.
But the key story is that Myshkin has a saviour complex towards chaotic Nastasya who prefers to choose a destructive and rogue man like Rogozhin rather than a kind man like Myshkin.
In the process, Myshkin loses out on a decent marriage with Aglaya, who disapproves of his feelings for Nastasya. She also dislikes his naive persona and wants him to develop a spine.
In the end, nobody is happy. Nastasya is killed by Rogozhin after she runs away from the altar (she was about to marry Myshkin). Aglaya abandons Myshkin after he can’t make a choice. Rogozhin is sent to prison and Myshkin gets epilepsy or something even worse. He is sent back to Switzerland for treatment.
The Creation of an Idiot
You might say it is common sense to have boundaries and know that people are self-serving and manipulative. But this knowledge comes only through socialisation. It also comes with a certain level of ideological vacuum.
As I trace my own past, I find that I was ideologically aligned with principles of a plethora of real/mythological figures. In addition, I preferred not to socialise or didn’t interact with others due my own perceived sense of inferiority or superiority (depending on the situation). This created the conditions for a perfect storm.
The nature of manipulation and betrayal common among humans is revealed only when you step out of home, close knit college circles and enter the office space. It is unraveled when you fall deep in love with someone who doesn’t really love you.
The darker shades of humanity are truly revealed within families and relatives when stakes are higher. The creation of an “Idiot” is a gradual and harmless process. But the “exposure” of an “Idiot” (or realisation of being an Idiot) is a violent and cruel process.
The Way Out
From my own experience I can prescribe a 5-step process to de-Idiot-ise yourself. Or let’s say these steps are part of Idiot-Myshkin vaccination. Steps that prevent you from becoming Prince Myshkin in real life.
Socialise with people and understand their psyche. See how they talk about others and transact in the general world. Assume that the shady things they do to others will be done to you some day.
Understand and recognise the masks they wear but don’t call it out. Also, don’t reveal everything about yourself to someone very new. You don’t have to wear a mask, but you don’t have to get naked either.
Increase your engagement with people gradually. Don’t start calling someone your best friend or buddy within 3 months. Wait it out. And simultaneously develop optionality. Have as many friends as possible so that you don’t double down on bad ones due to loneliness or obligation.
Stop compromising with bad behaviour from the very early stages. Don’t forgive easily and feel free to punish people who hurt you. Not in a vengeful manner, but in a self-protective manner. Cut down your access to those who don’t treat you right. Draw boundaries and enforce them.
Build self worth. Good looks, good physique, skills that make you earn well and good habits that build character. Go for a run, lift and take care of diet. If you treat yourself well, you will be able to demand the same from others as well.
Even if you know these things, you will still make mistakes if you’ve already been primed to be an idiot. Habits are hard to shed. But at least you can make an attempt to not end up like Prince Myshkin.