Faiz, Love and Gambling
My feelings about a poem I read
gar baazī ishq kī baazī hai jo chāho lagā do Dar kaisā
gar jiit ga.e to kyā kahnā haare bhī to baazī maat nahīñ
Faiz Ahmed Faiz
I was curious to know this poem's meaning when I read it for the first time. But when I understood it, the impact was devastating and empowering simultaneously. It’s a rare achievement for any poem, especially on the topic of love.
Translation:
This is the game of love; put in whatever you desire, what is there to fear?
If you win, what more could be said, and even if you lose, the game is not truly lost.
I came across this poem in a surprisingly weird circumstance. Someone on Twitter shared this on the 2024 Lok Sabha Election Result day. The person intended to say that the opposition had fought hard and lost. But at least they tried something.
The poem seemed appropriate when I read it in the context of elections. But when I applied it to my own life, it shattered me.
Had I not given everything I had?
Had I not broken every rule I had for myself?
Had I not anticipated the grief that would come and accepted that too?
Yes. Yes. And, yes.
And still, as per my suspicion, I was not only defeated but destroyed. Every day seemed like a burden for many months. Every night seemed unending and the river of tears kept breaching my eyes no matter how hard I tried.
It felt like a cruel act of fate. A punishment by god.
As facts unfolded, the self-inflicted torture diluted. With every passing day, things became clearer and the pain felt lighter too.
Now, I don’t have to deal with the uncertainty of not being accepted. It’s a closed chapter (at least from the logical perspective).
Have I lost someone who can never be replaced?
According to Faiz, nothing has been lost.
The ability to make such dangerous bets persists. The capacity to heal the heart and nurture it remains.
And the thought by itself is so refreshing.