Fading the Stain
Few interesting thoughts after enjoying Holi at Vrindavan
A series of interesting thoughts danced in my head as I drove back to Delhi from Vrindavan with a bunch of friends this evening. It sorta happened involuntarily as one random thought connected to another organically. These, I feel are worth sharing.
The Stubborn Coffee Stain
I had bought a white t-shirt at a shop in Majnu Ka Tilla way back in 2022. It had the text “peace” written on it (in Tibetan language). Somehow I spilt coffee while wearing it. No matter how many times I put it in the washing machine, the stain didn’t go away. I had no energy or patience to brush it with my hands.
If you can’t make a stain go away for whatever reason, the only other thing you can do is to make the shirt beautiful and wearable in spite of the stain. You wear the stain with pride, but also fade it out with other colours. Holi is probably the right occasion to bring this unconventional laundry strategy to fruition.
A Parallel Thought
My breakup story came into the limelight during the trip. I didn’t have the desire or mental bandwidth to discuss it. As a compensation, I encouraged the idea of playing sad or fast-paced breakup songs in the car. Unexpectedly, these songs had no impact on me.
Had I healed? Had the stain gone away?
No. I acknowledge that my grief is too big to be described by a song. No song can effectively measure its magnitude or intensity. Even my own words can’t do enough justice to it.
However, I have learnt how to bear out the grief with dignity and self-compassion. I have made efforts to understand what lead me to behave in the way I did and allow disrespect. I’ve promised myself that I won’t let it happen again.
The grief which occupied so much space on my mind has now slowly faded into the background, all thanks to other beautiful and positive memories that I have experienced during the last three months.
Hues of Joy — Day-drinking and Street-dancing
Holi at Vrindavan is one among those uplifting experiences that contributes to the project of fading the grief. I felt the sheer joy of being amidst happy strangers throwing colours at each other and dancing to drumbeats.
One must admit that the festival does empower certain rogue elements in our surroundings. This can be annoying to individuals who have strict boundaries. However, I felt that one can enjoy Holi safely if one can find the right crowd.
I had never tried day-drinking. During this trip, I gave it a shot. Instead of trying to be productive and efficient, I decided to embrace the absurdity of life. Breaking the pattern once in a while does offer a new perspective. This new experience has opened up another gate to joy, if one can characterise it in that manner.
I had plans to watch sunrise from the banks of Yamuna. This unfinished agenda will be fulfilled when I visit Vrindavan next time. At this moment, I do feel grateful for the fantastic Holi I celebrated with cool friends. Adios.
