Discipline / Desire

Kindness towards oneself is a key that can open both doors

A lot has been written about discipline on the internet. Even I am guilty of reading self-help books on the topic. To be honest, I have also benefitted from such books.

I was thinking about discipline after attending fitness class two days in a row (after a long time). What new thoughts could I contribute to this topic?

Discipline is Defence

This post or train of thought has very significant parallels to my post on Vision / Execution. You need the desire to have a vision but discipline to execute. Desire is offence, while discipline is defence. You need to defend against triggers to develop discipline. But you should be open to triggers to desire something. This is my biggest learning or realisation as I was thinking about it while driving to the office.

You need to push your boundaries to have discipline. Desires are quite easy and natural. You would want a sexy body, but the discipline to train and maintain a diet is so hard. For almost two months, I did not workout regularly. I desire to be a writer but still lack the discipline to write daily. This is a problem area which I want to explore.

Opportunity Cost

There is always an opportunity cost associated with the desire. Contradictory desires will cancel out the impact of each other, even if both are good. You fail to reach the depths that you wanted in pursuit of variety. Saying no desire is an integral part of discipline. Of course, you can stack rank base and higher desires, and the former are far easier to pursue.

Controlling External Factors

The impact of your environment and partner/friends on achieving your goals and staying disciplined is highly underrated. With the wrong partner or friends, you will move farther away from the person you desire to become. In that sense, discipline includes managing your environment and personal relationships.

Sometimes, you must be harsh on yourself and the people you might inadvertently (or even consciously) love (or get attached to). You can be your worst enemy; a wrong partner/friend can destroy your core. Preventing oneself from self-torture, I believe, is a task that you ought to do daily. That requires self-knowledge and a healing touch to unaddressed wounds.

Realisation

Learning to be kind to yourself also requires much more discipline than I had previously imagined. At this juncture, I feel I have hit a eureka moment. To be the best version of myself, I should first be kind to myself and my inner child. That will be the starting line where I can pursue my desires and be disciplined at the same time.